Stir Crazy Me...

I have found that this summer has been less than satisfying for me when it comes to the whole feel of the season. Usually by July things are quite muggy and hot here in Pennsylvania. I'm usually laying out in the hot sunshine sipping ice tea or lemonade. It's a great feeling because summer is by far my favorite season.

This year however it has left much to be desired. There has not been a day really that has reached anywhere near eighty and we haven't even touched ninety. It's very frustrating for me because summer is all about the heat and going to the lake or the ocean. It's about the bbqs and chasing after lightening bugs. All these things represent summer and I've barely been able to do any of them.

What's also sad is that fall will be here soon and the summer will not have even mattered.

There Are Just Some People...

that will never learn that there are other points of view.

Those are the people that I truly will never understand...

I Love Sunsets

This is what I saw when I exited the yummy seafood dinner that I devoured.

Beautiful isn't it?

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

No I'm Not Dead, I Promise

So things got crazy. I really can't believe I didn't update but I haven't had the time. My life has become something entirely chaotic and I wish sometimes that it would slow down so that I could breathe. I don't even know what side is up sometimes.

My depression has also been flaring up some. I am thinking about going to a therapist. I think it would do me some good to sit down with someone who doesn't really know me and talk things through. There are things that I'm feeling and thinking that really just need to come out before they cause more damage.

Those that wondered about my weekend with Paul from the last entry. It was perfect. I am so lucky to have a great husband like Paul who takes the time to try to understand me even when things in my head don't make sense at all. He's always supporting me and trying his best to take care of me. There are some women that can't even say that about their husbands and therefore I am thankful.

Currently I am in Seattle with Paul on one of his business trips. I really like it here. I have been looking for places to move with Paul that would make me happy. This place would be at the top of the list if it wasn't so rainy for the rest of the year. I've been talking to locals and they say that it rains a lot after the summer is over. I can't deal with the rain. The rain makes me so depressed. Sometimes I think that I have seasonal depression.

I hope everyone is doing well and that no one abandoned me. I'm sorry that I've been so bad at this...I promise I will be better.

Cleaning House

The first year of marriage can really be something. You can learn a lot about the person that you are married to even if you lived with them for awhile. I've been finding this out with Paul. Even though we have known each other for a lot more years than we have been married, I have learned a lot about him.

Of course there are things that get on my nerves and I get frustrated sometimes. There are other things that I love more about him and realize that I need to cherish more. However, the overall fact is that I am still glad I married him and in May I'm going to tell him that to his face.

This weekend we didn't celebrate Valentine's Day. Paul had it in his head that he wanted to do something special but he couldn't do it until next weekend. So what did we do? We moved the holiday for us until next weekend. I'm actually pretty excited about it. We are going here.

I have never been there before but I have heard good things about it and I DO love Victorian houses. This should be a help when it comes to the inspiration department for my book. I'm hoping that I can get some much needed writing and editing done while I'm there next weekend. This week is going to fly by and although I am going to get some things done...the editing is what really needs to take place.

Hope everyone had a good weekend and if you have a longer weekend...hope tomorrow is a good one.

Yes, I"m Still Here

I feel really overwhelmed with life at the moment. I am under a lot of pressure that I put on myself because of who I am. I want to be me. There are so many times that I just feel unfocused and not the me I want to be at all.

My weight has been a problem since forever. I'm tired of hating my body. I've lost six pounds and to me it's a start but not necessarily good enough. I can do better. However, since my knee injury (long story) I haven't been able to start running again. I really want to run. I always lost weight when I jogged. I hate that I got so lazy and sucked into things and neglected myself.

The book is going slowly. There is research and editing. There are times when I want to strangle myself but I know the end product is going to be amazing or at least I hope so.

My family is not the most supportive of me and neither is Paul's family. I am in the world of not being supported by those that I think should. It makes me upset.

Also...I really want to move. I am tried of being here. So very very tired.

The Trip

I drove to Chicago by myself. It took me 9 1/2 hours. It was super super long but it was well worth it. I proved to myself that I could do it.

Alive! I Am Alive!

Yes, I am still alive. Paul and I have just been making the house look more like our home. It's a tough job but someone has to do it. We got some new furniture and we have been cleaning and moving more of my stuff in trying to make it blend in perfect harmony. I definitely don't think that is going to happen though.

I'm planning another trip to Chicago to see Andrea and Karla. Andrea and I have been writing this book and trying to get it in some kind of order. So, yet again I have to take another trip out to not only visit but get some novel things done.

This weekend was girls' weekend. I spent time with Tracy and Sara in the dirty Jerz. Tracy's mom and stepdad live there so we went to visit so we could go to NYC and then just shop at the really nice mall by her home. It was a nice weekend. I got to spend some time and talk to the girls that make my life a happy place.

Love you all. I hope that everything is going well in your lives.